Category Archives: Bedtime

Jingle Bell Burrito

Christmas Eve, 2013.  Bedtime for Duncan (4) and Milo (2).

It is nearly midnight and Duncan only just fell asleep because “IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS! IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS! DID YOU KNOW? IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!”

Milo was also wide awake, drunk with excitement and exhaustion, jumping on his bed and talking to his night light until hours past bedtime. He finally fell asleep on the floor under his comforter, singing, “My a yittle burrito, burrito, a yittle… yittle... yittle… jingle bell… bur…rit…o…”

8:00PM (bedtime)
Nobody is even close to ready for bed.  The house is filled with family and noise and good things to eat.  The children have to be physically carried up the stairs against their will to their bedroom and harassed through toothbrusing and into their pajamas.

Me: “Okay, guys, it’s time to settle down. Time to go to sleep.”
Milo: “SOON! SOON! My have tee in my house! KISS-MISS TEEEEE!”

Duncan (doing a headstand on his bed): “When I am the King of Ireland, I will give all the children that don’t have things, toys and food and night lights.”

Milo (talking so close to my face that I can feel his eyelashes on my cheek): “Kiss-miss tee. In. My. House. In my house!  MY HOUSE!  TEE IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!”

Duncan: “I didn’t spill water on my bed… just, um, my cup has a tiny crack– a microscopic crack– in it and water came out… which was not microscopic… and now my bed is wet.  (That’s why it’s not my fault.)”

Milo: “MOMMY!”
Me: “Yes?”
Milo: “My a pie-yet.”
Me: “A pirate?”
Milo: “Yeah, a air-pane pie-yet.”
Me: “Oh, you mean a pilot? An airplane pilot?”
Milo: “NO!  My mean air-pane pie-yet!  ARRGHH!  My eat you chockit all up!”
Me: “Okay, Milo, go to sleep, honey.”
Milo: “PIE-YET NOT SEEPY! Pie-yet not seep, honey!”

Me: “Guys, I’m going downstairs. Stay in your beds.”
Duncan: “Why are you going?”
Me: “Because Milo is being so crazy. I just need a little break.”
Duncan: “But don’t just leave me here with a crazy person!”

Milo rolls around on the floor singing a song about being a jingle bell burrito until he finally falls asleep.
Duncan: “Milo is quiet.”
Me: “Shh… he’s asleep.”
Duncan: “Turn on the lights!”
Me: “No! Shhh, Duncan, be quiet.”
Duncan: “But I want to see!”
Me: “See what?”
Duncan: “If he is really a burrito… or if he was lying.”

Duncan: “It used to be Hanukkah and Thanksgiving at the same time.”
Me: “Yes.”
Duncan: “Now it’s almost Christmas.”
Me: “Mm-hmm.”
Duncan: “What if it was Hanukkah and Christmas and Shabbat and Thanksgiving and my birthday AND the Fourth of July all at once?”
Me: “Well, your birthday is in May, so it couldn’t be the same because-”
Duncan (interrupting): “But WHAT IF?”
Me: “Well… that would be an exciting day.”
Duncan (with a satisfied sigh): “Yeah… that’s just what I thinked.”

christmas stockings